I just don’t trust people who say they don’t masturbate
(Source: breakmeofimpatience, via -keepsmiling)
is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing
no its called highjacking
guys no it’s weedwhacking
no its called dissapointing ur mother
It’s actually called the best thing on the face of the planet so shut up and do it.
Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
(via swift-fox)
OH MY GOD SO SOME RUDE GUY ON THE STREET PASSING BY ME SAID “TAKE THAT METAL OUT OF YOUR NOSE IT’S DISGUSTING” AND I SAID “TAKE YOUR JUDGMENTAL HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS YOU’RE DISGUSTING” AND THE PERSON WALKING BEHIND ME LAUGHED SO HARD SHE STOPPED WALKING
(via sr8olguin)
